


let me walk to the top of the big night sky

by townie (AphroditeIncarnate)



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Character Death, F/F, I am a katara supremacist, Lesbian Yue, Period Typical Sexism, Romance, all my homies hate the northern water tribe, angst and prose and non linear storytelling, bi katara, i hate the northern water tribe, katara has to say goodbye to the first love of her life, katara is implied to have been blessed by the ocean, listen I have a lot of thoughts about these girls, native characters, why are all sapphics in love with the moon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27783427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AphroditeIncarnate/pseuds/townie
Summary: Katara has been drawn to the moon her entire life. All waterbenders draw their power from the moon's light, but not like Katara. She is an ocean, intense and powerful. So its no wonder, really, why she starts to fall in love with Yue.
Relationships: Katara/Yue (Avatar), implied future barely there aang/katara
Comments: 7
Kudos: 33





	let me walk to the top of the big night sky

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from "first love / late spring" by mitski, which I also feel captures the relationship between Katara and Yue

When Katara was a small child, she would spend hours gazing at the moon. Not all of her time was spent watching it, far from it. Her days were spent throwing snowballs at Sokka, who she’d only later realize let her win snowball fights. Spent cleaning fur and learning how to make it into the parkas that sustained them, huddled against her mother’s embrace and her Gran-Gran’s experienced hands. 

But at night, Katara would look longingly at the celestial body. Sokka would grumble about her “weird magic stuff” and she would freeze his socks until he screeched to their father. Her mother would laugh and assure them that it was natural for waterbenders to look to the light. Or at least, she assumed so. 

It wasn’t like there was anyone else she could ask. 

When her mother was taken from her, the glacier beneath their village cracked and splintered under the weight of Katara’s grief. Black snow disappeared into the waves, and tearfully Katara cursed the moon for not protecting her. Somewhere in the North, a young girl felt a pang of grief. 

_____

Katara would split the ice again, only this time she was older. Headstrong and stubborn and picking up the slack. Not all that much wiser. Sokka had started to grow up, but the baby fat around his face betrayed the warrior’s persona he tried to cloak himself in. He still made fun of the magic, despite the fact that it was “an ancient practice from our people, Sokka, haven’t you been listening?” 

Their fishing trip ended in a splintered iceberg, a six legged beast and a sleeping child inside the ice. When he woke up in her arms and flew into the air, Katara soared. Even if Sokka was suspicious, she could feel it...something was going to change. 

_____

“We haven’t had contact with our sister tribe in a long time,” Katara confessed. A part of her burned with anger, and shame at her beginner’s skills. “You’re looking at the only waterbender in the whole south pole.” 

“Well,” Aang said, his smile characteristically bright. “We can fly on Appa! Katara, we’re gonna find you a master!” 

_____

The Northern Water Tribe was unlike anything Katara and Sokka could have ever imagined. Far from the comfort and familiarity of their igloos and communal campfires, this was a city unparalleled by anything except Ba Sing Se. The only familiarity was the weather.

“I’ve never seen this many waterbenders before,” Katara breathed. Her skills had progressed past accidentally freezing her brother, but the refinement of the masters here had her in awe. Sokka was talking to Aang, something or other about the southern styles of fighting he’d like to talk to the northern warriors about, but Katara couldn’t hear him. 

Below her, in an adjacent canal, was a white haired girl. Katara’s breath caught in her chest looking at her. Her hair was as white as the moon, as her Gran Gran’s, but she was young. She was adorned in seashells and carved stone, a deep purple coat in a color she’d never seen before. In all her life, Katara could safely say she’d never seen anyone like her.

She couldn’t explain it, but she felt a pull towards her. She was undeniably beautiful, of course, but that couldn’t have been the only explanation. The girl looked at Appa, then at Katara, and Katara waved. The girl turned a shade of pink, smiled, and looked away. 

“--oh, look Katara, a seal jerky stand!” Sokka said excitedly. “Katara? Hey, did you hear that?” 

“Huh?” Katara said, breaking her gaze from the retreating boat of the girl. “Sorry, I was...distracted, that’s all.” 

_____

The Avatar and his Companions, as they were called, were invited to a traditional feast by Chief Arnook. There, the finest cuisine the tribe offered would be served, the masters would perform, and...his daughter, Princess Yue, was introduced. 

Katara found her utterly radiant, and unusual, and spirits above she took a seat right between her and her brother. Sokka immediately started regalling her with over the top stories of his tribe. 

“You know, I’m something of a prince back home,” he grinned at Yue.  
  
“Oh really? Then I guess Appa is the king of the sky bison?” Katara shot back at him. Yue let out a small laugh at Sokka’s sputtering, and Katara’s stomach twisted into a knot.

She wanted to hear that sound again, but she didn’t know why it made her feel sick. 

“Sorry about that,” she said. “My brother is kind of an idiot sometimes. I’m Katara.”

“I wouldn’t know, I don’t have a brother,” she laughed. “I’m Yue. I’m happy to meet you.” 

“Me too,” Katara said. 

An imperceptible shift occurred between the two girls, like an ever so small adjustment in gravity. It felt like the world was in balance again, like the ocean had finally reunited with the moon. When Katara had to leave, Yue ached. 

_____

Aang and Katara were brimming with excitement at seeing Master Pakku. Here was a master, the one chance for Katara to meet her potential, for Aang to complete his next phase in Avatar training. She’d been waiting for this day for her entire life, she was ready. 

“I’m sorry,” Pakku said, his eyes narrowing. “I will only train the Avatar. Women in the Northern Tribe are not taught how to fight. You may go to the healing huts with the other women.” 

She was shut out. She was angry, a storming ocean. The necessity of Aang’s training was the only reason she left for the healing huts instead of getting into a screaming match. 

_____

The night after her failed encounter with Pakku, Yue invited her to see her. Katara was allowed into the Princess’ room, as a distinguished guest and friend of the Avatar. And, as the only girl in their group, she could be alone with the Princess and it would still be proper. She snorted at that. _Northerners and being proper_ , she thought. _It’s not like we all just didn’t share igloos together back home_. 

Yue was waiting for her, sitting on a bed of arctic fox-bear fur. Her back was straight, her legs crossed rigidly. Even here, alone, the weight of her responsibility didn’t let her rest. Katara realized that she’d never really have a girl friend her own age growing up, and Yue was kept out of reach. This was uncharted. 

“Hello,” Yue said when she saw her. “Please, make yourself comfortable.” 

“Thanks,” Katara said, unceremoniously sitting next to her. 

“I’m sorry you didn’t find what you were looking for. The old masters here can be...quite strict.” 

“More like unbelievably sexist,” Katara scoffed. She untangled her braid and let her dark hair cascade behind her, running her fingers through it like a brush. “I mean, don’t they know there’s a war going on? Women have to learn how to fight, it just isn’t fair! I want to heal, and I want to fight. Why should I have to choose?” 

“It’s just the way things are,” Yue sighed, a feeling of resignation. She picked a comb off the ice shelf nearest to her, and offered it to Katara. “It’s always been this way.” 

“Well, it doesn’t have to be! It shouldn’t be! You’re the princess, right? Maybe you can say something.” 

Yue thought of her father, the many male elders, the meetings she sat through silently, looking pretty, soaking everything in to learn.  
  
“I don’t know if they’d even listen to me,” Yue confessed. “Besides, they’d say you should have other priorities since you’re about to get married.” 

Katara looked scandalized. 

“I’m not getting married!” she said. 

“You’re not?” Yue said, her head tilting. “But your engagement necklace…” 

“What?” Katara said, her calloused fingers drifting down to her neck. She let out a slight laugh. “No, I’m not getting engaged. I’m way too young for that. This was…this necklace was my mom’s.” 

Yue felt the heaviness in her voice, the presence of a memory she’d rather leave undisturbed. Something far away from Yue’s palaces and plush furs was a devastation she couldn’t quite imagine. She felt a hint of guilt at how heavy her neck felt, and how it made her feel warm to know that Katara wasn’t engaged after all. She shouldn’t have felt happy about that. She put her hand on Katara’s shoulder, brushing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. 

Her eyes. Yue’s eyes matched her peoples’ in the North. Pale blue, like chips of ice and moonlight bouncing off the water. Cold, smooth as the surface of a glacier, shining and new. But Katara’s eyes were something wholly other. Deep and dark. Yue was reminded of the depths of the ocean, of the color of the sky in a storm. She could watch them forever. 

“I think it’s very beautiful,” she said simply. _I think you’re beautiful_ went unspoken. “It suits you. We...we should finish your hair, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Katara said, her attention caught on the hand on the side of her face, longing to hold it. “That would be nice.”

_____

It was inevitable, really. If Yue was like the moon,bright and beautiful and distant and waiting, then Katara was the dynamic ocean. Dark and powerful and unyielding. Fighting Pakku was the only outcome of his denial. 

Yue was shocked at her boldness, wishing she could have stood up the same way. Katara was an excellent fighter, to be sure. She moved with ferocity, a burning desire to prove him wrong. Northern women started to gather around them, cheering Katara on. 

She lost. But just barely. Pakku felt the familiar weight of the engagement necklace, offered Katara a chance to be trained.

“I think,” Yue proclaimed, walking down to help Katara stand up after being knocked flat on the ice. “Katara has proven what we’ve known all alone. Women should be trained to fight.” 

She could already feel the judgemental stares of the elders and her father, and the long uphill battle that was just beginning. But Katara’s bright smile of approval melted all of that away.

_____

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to anyone how quickly Katara soared through the ranks of Pakku’s students. Even Aang was more likely to be playing in the snow with Momo than mastering the more advanced forms, but Katara picked them up easily. Pakku remarked, with only a little ice in his voice, how it felt that she was blessed by the ocean. It wouldn’t be long until she was dubbed a master. 

Yue came to watch her train, sometimes. Katara was strong, her soft arms starting to toughen up with muscle and bruises. She moved like a wave, flowing effortlessly across the ice and dazzling her with impressive forms. She was...quite a sight. 

Katara caught her eye and smiled at her, and in that second her fellow student gained an advantage and wiped her out with a quick water whip. Katara came up sputtering and spitting out water, and all Yue could do was giggle and wave. 

_____

Yue asked her to meet on the ice bridge nearest to the palace that same night. Katara was elated at her victory, and the chance to see her again. But Yue’s downcast look made her hesitate. 

“Yue,” Katara said. “What’s wrong?” 

She reached out to hold her hand, feeling her warmth even though thick mittens. 

“We can’t see each other anymore,” she eventually said. Katara felt like she’d been slapped, the wind knocked out of her body, the stars dulled in the sky. 

“What? Why not?” She demanded. “Is it because of me? Did I get you in trouble. Or...do you just want to avoid a Southern girl?” 

“No, no, it’s not like that at all,” Yue insisted. She squeezed a little tighter. 

“I like you a lot,” Katara said, blood uncharacteristically flooding her face out of anger and affection. “I think...I think you’re beautiful, Yue. And smart and sweet and capable. And if you don’t feel like that you should just tell me--”

Yue silenced her, reaching her free hand up to cup the soft skin of Katara’s face and pulling her close for a kiss. The moon and the stars and the ocean all stilled, growing brighter and sweeter than ever before. This felt right, like it was where they were supposed to be all along. Katara completely lost her train of thought, her heartbeat an erratic rabbit-heron dancing around her chest, all nerves and relief. They could have passed an eternity like that, and Yue would've been content. And then she broke away. 

“I do like you, Katara,” she breathed. “I like you a lot. You’re beautiful to me, but it hurts too much to be around you. The truth is...I’m engaged.” 

Katara’s mouth gaped open as Yue pulled the fur of her parka down, exposing her delicate neck and the heavy engagement necklace that adorned it. 

“I’m sixteen now,” she explained. “That’s marrying age. A boy named Hahn...he’ll be a good fit for the tribe. I have to go through with it.” 

“You have a choice,” Katara pressured, her voice crackling like the ice underneath her feet. She imagined drowning Hahn in snow, pushing a man she’d never even met into the depths of the canals. She reached both hands out to hold Yue tightly. “You can always saw no.” 

“You wouldn’t understand,” Yue said. “I have to do this. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have led you on like this.” 

She broke free from her hands, and the cold of the night slipped into where her warmth just was. Yue turned and fled. 

“Please, Yue, wait!” Katara called out to empty air. Her hand went up to touch her lips, salty and sweet and full of memory. “Please don’t go.” 

_____

The Fire Nation. Of course it was the Fire Nation, coming to destroy this sanctuary, this last bastion of hope against their reign. Sokka spotted it first while up on Appa. The black snow. His eyes were wild and frightened, even if his voice was steady in telling her. They both remembered what that snow meant. 

Chief Arnook called upon the spirits of the moon and ocean to protect them. He asked for volunteers to fight for the tribe, and Sokka was the first to receive his blessing. Katara soon followed. She wanted nothing more than to fight, but now that the time had arrived she didn’t want to. 

Katara was about to leave, when Yue rushed to meet her and grabbed her hand. 

“Wait,” she pleaded. “Don’t go yet.” 

“You can’t stop me from joining this fight!” Katara said, her eyes set. Yue shook her head. 

“No, I know. But there’s a place I think you and the Avatar should see. It could help us win this battle.” 

Tracking down Aang wasn’t difficult. His dejection at the advancing army could be seen from a mile away. Yue lead them through the upper levels of the palace as night began to dawn, darkness cresting over the palace. There was a small door, and inside was the most serene oasis Katara had ever seen. 

“What is this place?” Katara asked, shedding her parka and taking a step closer to the pond in the center of the room. It was surrounded by grass and plants, adorned with warmth. 

“This is the most spiritual place in the North Pole,” Yue explained, taking her place beside Katara in front of the water. “The home of Tui and La. The ocean and moon.” 

The dancing fish gave no indication of a greeting, but as Katara stared at the swirling dark and light fish and felt like she could see her reflection in them. 

_____

Aang had been kidnapped, and despite her best efforts Katara couldn’t have saved him. Yue had held her close on Appa’s saddle, assuring her that it wasn’t her fault. Sokka gave them strange looks but otherwise didn’t question it. 

“If anyone can survive this blizzard, it’s Zuko,” Sokka said. “We’re gonna find Aang.” 

Sure enough, they did, and Katara won the rematch she deserved. Zuko was tied up on Appa, and the lights of the invading army’s fires turned into stars on the horizon. The moon had turned a blood red, and Katara felt unstable and sick. Yue looked like she was in even worse shape. 

“I have a connection to the moon,” Yue explained to Katara under the red sky. “The moon gave me a piece of their light in order to save my life. That’s why my hair turned white, and why I can sense they’re in danger.” 

“Its always been you,” Katara whispered. “I’ve been drawn to the moon for so long and I didn’t know why. But it was you all along.” 

“I’m glad you finally found me,” Yue said, clutching at her. “I’m so happy it was you.” 

  
  


_____

Katara felt a wave of agony when they reached the spirit oasis. She wanted to fight, she wanted to stop the admiral, but it was too much. It hurt to see the moon spirit in that much pain. The other general, Iroh was his name, tried to stop him. Aang tried to reason with him. Katara couldn’t feel much of anything, until the pain of the flames. Zhao’s single action caused the moon to go dark. 

Yue sunk to her knees and clung to Katara, sobbing quietly.

  
“It’s over,” she cried. “There’s no hope now.” 

  
“If I had my waterbending, I could’ve fought back,” Katara sniffled. “Its all my fault. I never should have left this place.” 

Iroh picked up the dead body of the moon, the spirit of the ocean swimming erratically around it. The whole world felt disjointed and out of balance. 

“You have been blessed by the spirit, haven’t you?” Iroh said. His voice was kindly and grave as he asked the next question. “A part of the moon lives inside of you. Do you know what that means, Princess Yue?”

Yue looked up from her position in Katara’s arms, realization dawning in her eyes. She stood up. Her back was straight, her head held high and resolute, even if her voice was soft. 

“If the moon gave me life, that means that I can give it back.” 

  
“No!” Katara shouted, grabbing at Yue’s hands. “Please, don’t do this. We can find another way, I’m sure of it. You can’t go.” 

Yue looked back at her for just a moment, before turning ahead again. 

“You said I always had a choice, Katara,” she said, pulling away. “I have to do this. I choose this.” 

Yue held the fish in her hand for just a moment, before she let out a shaky breath and fell over into Katara’s arms. Katara let out a scream of pain and caught her, cradling her princess gently in her arms, looking at her face. The bravest girl she’d ever known, now serene and silent. 

“She’s gone,” Katara whispered. “She’s gone.” 

Yue disappeared from her arms, and tears of sadness turned into shock. The moon shone brightly in the sky again, a symbol of love and loss. Yue rose from the pond, only it wasn’t her Yue as she knew her. 

Yue was glowing, a shining shimmering mirage, an amalgamation of reflection and light. Her long hair flowed freely around her, matched with the white robes that now adorned her soft brown skin. Katara had never seen her look more beautiful, and free, and powerful. 

Yue floated downwards, guided by moonbeams, until her bare hand reached out to cup Katara’s tan, tearstained face. 

“Yue,” she whispered, her name a prayer on her lips. “You did it. You saved everyone.” 

“I saved you,” Yue said. Her hand was like a gust off the ocean, barely there unless she focused on it. But the warmth of her life was still there. “Goodbye, Katara. I’ve loved you as the ocean, and I’ve loved you as yourself. I will always be with you.” 

Katara closed her eyes as her lips brushed against Yue’s. The kiss was perfect, sweet and enrapturing and _Yue_. When Katara opened her eyes again, she was met with nothing but the reflection of the moon. Her love lost to something stranger than death. 

  
  


_____

Aang had laid waste to the fire nation army, and the spirit of the ocean moved with Katara to fight off the remaining soldiers. She realized, distantly, that she and Aang had been the only people in the world able to waterbend. She would show no mercy. 

The dust settled, eventually. The ache in Katara’s chest didn’t fade, even when she was rewarded with the title of master. This place just hurt too much. Everywhere she looked, she was reminded of Yue. Of her white haired princess. Her love. She cried more than the ocean’s worth of saltwater.

“If you wanted to stay at the North,” Chief Arnook told her. “You are welcome to. You could be a spiritual leader in the spirit oasis. My daughter...she connected with you. We would look to you for guidance.” 

“Thank you, Chief, but I have to say no,” Katara explained. “Yue would want me out there. And...and that’s where she is. She’s out there too. Are you proud of her?”

“So proud,” he sighed. “And sad.” 

_____

Many years and battles later, Katara would find herself deeply in love. It wasn’t an immediate love, but the kind nurtured until it bloomed. She was happy. Aang was an excellent husband and father, to be sure. They understood each other, shared in their grief and their laughter and the shock at how much the world had changed. And yet, and yet, and yet...Katara gazed at the moon. Aang didn’t pressure her to stop, only shooting her worried glances and small, sad smiles when she got that way. 

Even as her dark hair turned gray, as her bones hardened over like ice, Katara would spend full moons under the big night sky alone. Or at least, she would look alone if someone were watching from the outside. But Katara knew better. When she used her waterbending by the sea, dancing across the waves, the moon moved with her. As steady as a wave, as constant as the tide. If the world were quiet enough, Katara could hear her light haired girl. Caught somewhere between sixteen and eternity, Katara could hear the moon whisper to her. 

“I will always be with you. I’ll love you in a thousand lifetimes,” the moon assured her. “I will love you again, and again, and again.” 

If she closed her eyes, she could feel it. The salty kiss of her princess, as soft as the moonlight. 

“I love you, Yue,” she promised. “Like life itself.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I think there should be more wlw content in Avatar, and I think that Katara and Yue are perfect parallels of each other. Don't get me wrong, I love my beautiful boy Sokka, but its no wonder why these girls are in love. Please leave me feedback, comments are very much appreciated!


End file.
